The Whales
by Andre Infante "It's a whale." "A what?" "A whale, sir." "You mean a 'save the' whale?" "I mean a two ton fluked killer whale, sir." "Well, what the hell is a whale doing in orbit around Alpha Centauri?" "Your guess is as good as mine, sir. Um, sir - it's fluking at us." "What?" "It's fluking, sir. Seems rather rude, sir." "You mean the thing's still alive?" "Yes, sir." "There aren't any planets in this system!" "No, sir, definitely not." "Well, why isn't it dead, then?" "It's in a bubble, sir" "Explain 'bubble'." "It's in a sphere of water. Looks like, oh, twenty meters in diameter." "I need a drink." "It's keeping still relative to us, sir, which means it's moving pretty fast. I don't see any rockets." "Paint thinner maybe- now why the hell would there be rockets on a whale?" "So it could move around, I would imagine, sir." "Of course." "What should we do, sir?" "Well, it's obvious that it's some kind of practical joke. Someone must've brought it along." "Sir, with respect, I don't recall seeing a whale the last time I was down in the hold." "You have a better explanation?" "It's moving, sir." "I thought we'd already established that." "No, sir, it's moving relative to us. It's right in front of us, sir. It's - it's winking at me, sir." "The whale is winking at you?" "Yes, sir. It seems rather fond of us." "Alright, well, look, this doesn't have to be complicated. You are taking pictures. For the love of god, Lieutenant, tell you me you're taking picture." "Of course, sir." "Send them to Earth. Wait for orders." "Sir, I feel I must remind you that the light lag to earth is nearly five years." "Do you think it will have gone away by then?" "Unless it has further supplies of food, I would imagine so." "Problem solved, in any case." "Yes sir. Um, sir?" "Oh, nothing. Listen, do we have any shrimp on board?" "Yes sir. Roughly... forty pounds, frozen in the hold. May I ask why?" "Well, there's this school of dolphins out my cabin window. They say they want to talk about climate change."  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Sorry to anyone who actually read this. Getting the adds to target on a site like this is... challenging. |
Author's Note:
Just a bit of silliness. With apologies to Douglas Adams. |