If you like my writing style or ideas (see the 'writing' section for examples thereof), you may want to consider buying my services. My rate is three cents a word, plus publication costs if you want it on paper. You get full rights to the produced text, though I must be credited somewhere. I write fiction and non-fiction (I have written for Cracked.com and print newspapers/journals).
To commission a fiction piece, email me at email@example.com, put the words 'FICTION COMMISSION' in the title, and specify what kind of story you're looking for. Specify genre, word count, and any details you'd like added. I'll email you back as quickly as possible to accept or decline, and let you know my total fee.
To commission a non-fiction piece, please email me at the above address, with 'NON FICTION COMMISSION' in the title, and give details about the job. We'll negotiate from there.